Fussy_pussy

The Parrot

There’s this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt, I mean he’s a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird’s foul mouth is driving him nuts.

One day, it just gets to be too much and the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then the guy gets angry and says, “OK for you,” and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.

At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he’s so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird meekly climbs onto the man’s outstretched arm and says, “Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.” The man is astounded and amazed at the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, “By the way, what did the CHICKEN DO?”

Why do so many Texan men suffer from lack of admitting when they’re are wrong. I’ve met some that are brilliantly smart, insightful and then the egotistically stuborn. My ex was both, a love and hate thing. Anyways, I just got into it with an asshole @ Walmart. A store that I dispise but had no choice but to be forced to enter the local clusterfuck. And what a suprise I run into a neanderthal in the self checkout. Spent about ten minutes trying to scan the same item! Mind you this was after it had already taken about 20min to reach the register. He tried scanning the item, then his girlfriend, then him again, back n forth for about ten min. AAAAAH!! my patience hit the roof that I finally jumped in and pointed out what is clearly an option to manually punch in the bar code for the item. Or ask for a clerk for fuck sake! They both acted like they didn’t hear me and continued to try scanning it. Until to no avail they finally punched in the barcode. They paid and now it was finally my turn. When I got to my third item that didn’t scan after the first try, I heard a little voice from behind “why don’t you try punching in the barcode”. It was them! They preceded to walk away. yea, i had to laugh at them for both standing n waiting as if they were going to have the last word. Gave him a smirk of a smile and called to them “hey Texas!” they turned and I gave him the finger. I continued to finish scanning my items in an efficient time. BTW, I know he was from Texas cos he had a stupid Texas state shaped tattoo filled in with the American flag with flames on top located on his calf. What a fucken Tool!! Thanx for listening to me vent. ;) This in no way reflects that there are many great places and people from Texas. Except for that guy.